I just came across a helpful guide to preventing the growth of your church – or at least making it hard to draw in any new people. Here is the summary:
- Don’t have a website.
- If you have a website make sure it looks like a 1970s video game. Better still – don’t update it.
- On church answerphone messages do not put service times.
- Do not have a notice board by your church building.
- If you have a notice board make it unreadable from the road.
- Meet in a place different to where you normally meet without putting this on your website or church notice board.
- Do not have anyone greeting or welcoming at the church door before the service.
- In major holiday and tourism destinations, do not put information in camp grounds, motels, hotels, or tourist offices.
- Do not have a New Year celebration.
- Do not have an advertisement or presence in local newspapers or radio.
- A bonus to make visitors feel extra unwelcome in your club, do not explain unusual practices your church has.